im not a communicator. its really hard for me to express my feelings. im always apathetic. at least i appear to be apathetic. its not a good thing. no one ever knows what im thinking. that's what im told. "i'll be ok. don't worry." that's all i say. its so hard for me. sometimes i feel something but i can't get myself to just say it. what a dumbass. speak up i tell myself. but all that comes out is long sigh. air. nothing. chances lost. opportunities passes by and im stuck. all bc i choked. i choke. the end.