just shut it.

some people shouldn't punctuate their thoughts with a contradicting thought. it just makes you look stupid.

plentiful of nothings

who wants to accompany me to western for an orientation thing for optometry? noooot me!

i feel so tired and drained. help me.

im lame

the bite in between my brows is interfering with my sight. i look like a cat. sexy. i know.

plentiful of nothings

i woke this morning and discovered 5 mosquito bites. who the hell left the window open? one between the brows, left wrist, upper right forearm, right side knee, right ankle. good lord. im a walking itch fest.

weekend was kinda cool. poker friday night. movie hopped on saturday saw stepbrothers and xfiles; surprisingly good, dinner at jasmine thai (amaaaazinggg), then ended the night with poker again. went to a local bbq on sunday. played some volleyball and attempted football in the pool then died while trying to watch the bank job.

felt like death this morning. felt like death at the gym so i slept when i got home.

my niece came home from taiwan. she only speaks taiwanese now. haha funny stuff. <33
ALRIGHT. off to get some phoooooooooooo later.

im playing poker tonight. i suck. but its cheap entertainment.

yesterday i had an ice cream sandwich. talk about being delicious. my stomach doesn't handle dairy products very well. gassy the entire night. i'll just stick to yogurt. thanks.

double nothing

what a stupendously productive day. i scratched off half of my to do list. i haven't been frivolously spending. knock on wood. he went and got his iphone and ran in to Lo from the hills/laguna beach. he sent me a picture with her. i was like HEY! that girl looks familiar!

im so sore. i love it.

im not over the fact that my roommat'es gf is so ugly. he's ugly too. but im just saying.

im brainstorming ideas of how to increase the value of my nonexistent net assets.

wednesdays > tuesdays

another nothing

i was playing with the iphone yesterday. probably one of the best toys i've played with. mine should be coming sometime next week, hopefully. peanuts make me fart. its terrible i know. its weird when your mom starts talking to you about her sex life. don't worry i didn't let her continue. i raised my hand motioning her to stop. she laughed and said: well i thought we were all adults here. yes we are but i don't want to hear your stories. mom also wondered why she had big knockers but none of her kids does. she told christine that one. maybe it skipped a generation. but i wondered about that phenomenon too.

i was stretching yesterday. i saw where all of my stretch marks were hiding. sneaky bitches.

my alarm threw me out of bed. the alarm said GO WORKOUT FATTY. i just snoozed it.

i hate tuesdays.

another nothing

i weighed myself today. the numbers read the same. not even a slight loss. how disappointing.

the weekend was busy. saw wanted for free on friday. saturday started with lunch at fish grill then dark knight. it was one long damn movie. then poker til midnight. i wanted to see if i could get away with playing the crappiest hand. i did. suckers! sunday had lunch at jersey mikes then checked out the surf competition in hb which resulted in terrible tanlines. dinner at thien an.

i need to go to gym. i should go to gym. i will go to gym.

i can't wait until hawaii.

drained.

misc.

the gym was horrific. i've switched over to using j&j's baby lotion. i smell like baby. its the only product that doesn't leave my skin feeling and looking like a greasy slice of pepperoni pizza. i can't stop listening to An Improvisation on Canon in D by robin something. i love it. i told a friend that i don't weigh myself bc i don't like to look at the numbers. they said that was a stupid reason. at least i don't drive myself insane over a number. i simply gage my progression on the basis of my reflection and clothes bitch. im kind of hungry right now but there's nothing healthy to eat at home and im too lazy to go get something. its utterly hard to get toned abs. faaaaaak. kill me now.

why is target always always out of small white v necks? i get lucky sometimes. i don't understand this phenomenon.

life is frustrating. life is all about timing. you either get lucky or get lucked out. sometimes your window of opportunity flashes right in front of you but for whatever reason you fail to realize it. its unfortunate. i ask myself all of the time, knowing what i know now, what would i have done differently last year, 2 years, 3 years ago? everything.

i was trashing crap out of the inbox. i reread his responded email. i was kind of pissed afterwards. it just sounded like he was making excuses for what i found on his phone. then continues to say that im younger that's why he feels like he's not taken care of, that its not reciprocated etc etc etc. sorry, my fault. i have alot of faults. go find yourself a catalog wife in vietnam.

i don't meet boys online. i don't initiate conversations or message people that i don't know online. i don't text my ex dudes i miss you. i don't text "good friends" can you tell that i like you.

what a fucking breezy.

the life.

im going to go to hawaii. i cannot wait. i need to get into shape for the trip but im lazy. my roommate is annoying and loud. he has this deep voice that echoes throughout the house. he's a got a turkish accent. my sister said she stayed up one night studying and heard him having sex with the gf. im glad i wasn't subjected to such nuisances. his gf is ugly. she stole my black flip flops. it was my favorite. bitch. i realized that my last haircut was about 7 months ago, no wonder my ends are sprouting with splits. the vegetable chicken potstickers from costco are delicious but the cabbage makes the room smell like ass. its difficult to workout when you're on your period. maybe its just difficult to workout. period.

he's a sneaky one. too bad his sneakiness can't surpass mine. fool me once shame on you. fool me twice shame on me. ass.

i had a dream that i gave birth to quintuplets. i woke up and was never more glad that it was merely a dream.

i went on a last minute trip to vegas a few weekends ago. literally last minute. i saw "O" and it was great. i want to go see wicked. christine said we should make it a sisters date night.

i hate dell with all my heart. they suck. the average lifespan of a dell laptop i'd say is 4-5 years. #*&^$%!!!!

status quo

im supposed to be working on a business plan but im taking a pseudo break. i went on a raid and really cleaned my room. its weird to find certain mementos from your past; sometimes you ask if you're still that person or if you've evolved for the better. i found a letter that i wrote to myself back in hs. i wasn't supposed to open it until sept. 30, 2011, it was for our health class. eh, i figured what the hell and opened it. i just laughed throughout the letter. how life was so simple back then yet little did i know that was as simple as it was going to get. i found old pictures of prom, graduation, senior trip at knotts, key club, old report cards, id cards, art awards from elementary where i got 1st and 3rd place ribbons. the list goes on. i sat there and wondered what happened to me. i was such a go getter, over achiever. now, im just a walking average joe schmoe that graduated with a worthless bio degree from uci. great. thanks mom and dad for investing your life savings on me. as you can see i was worth every penny.

bike riding along the beach is great. i love it. especially in the evening after the heat dies down and the cool air slowly immerses. the smell of alcohol makes me nauseous. it's my foe hours after; whether i've had alot or just a drop.

lately i've tried every bit to dodge family / social gatherings whether its mine or whoevers. i dread the question : "so what are you doing with your life now? or so what do you do? " me : "im doing a sabbatical." then i try to change the subject and run away. oh me. the even more antisocial aspect of moi. my life feels like it has plateaued. the highs and lows have eroded. flatlined. dead. i want life again.

they say ignorance is bliss. maybe, maybe not. i say its indicative to your state of indenial.