im supposed to be working on a business plan but im taking a pseudo break. i went on a raid and really cleaned my room. its weird to find certain mementos from your past; sometimes you ask if you're still that person or if you've evolved for the better. i found a letter that i wrote to myself back in hs. i wasn't supposed to open it until sept. 30, 2011, it was for our health class. eh, i figured what the hell and opened it. i just laughed throughout the letter. how life was so simple back then yet little did i know that was as simple as it was going to get. i found old pictures of prom, graduation, senior trip at knotts, key club, old report cards, id cards, art awards from elementary where i got 1st and 3rd place ribbons. the list goes on. i sat there and wondered what happened to me. i was such a go getter, over achiever. now, im just a walking average joe schmoe that graduated with a worthless bio degree from uci. great. thanks mom and dad for investing your life savings on me. as you can see i was worth every penny.
bike riding along the beach is great. i love it. especially in the evening after the heat dies down and the cool air slowly immerses. the smell of alcohol makes me nauseous. it's my foe hours after; whether i've had alot or just a drop.
lately i've tried every bit to dodge family / social gatherings whether its mine or whoevers. i dread the question : "so what are you doing with your life now? or so what do you do? " me : "im doing a sabbatical." then i try to change the subject and run away. oh me. the even more antisocial aspect of moi. my life feels like it has plateaued. the highs and lows have eroded. flatlined. dead. i want life again.
they say ignorance is bliss. maybe, maybe not. i say its indicative to your state of indenial.
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