misc.

the gym was horrific. i've switched over to using j&j's baby lotion. i smell like baby. its the only product that doesn't leave my skin feeling and looking like a greasy slice of pepperoni pizza. i can't stop listening to An Improvisation on Canon in D by robin something. i love it. i told a friend that i don't weigh myself bc i don't like to look at the numbers. they said that was a stupid reason. at least i don't drive myself insane over a number. i simply gage my progression on the basis of my reflection and clothes bitch. im kind of hungry right now but there's nothing healthy to eat at home and im too lazy to go get something. its utterly hard to get toned abs. faaaaaak. kill me now.

why is target always always out of small white v necks? i get lucky sometimes. i don't understand this phenomenon.

life is frustrating. life is all about timing. you either get lucky or get lucked out. sometimes your window of opportunity flashes right in front of you but for whatever reason you fail to realize it. its unfortunate. i ask myself all of the time, knowing what i know now, what would i have done differently last year, 2 years, 3 years ago? everything.

i was trashing crap out of the inbox. i reread his responded email. i was kind of pissed afterwards. it just sounded like he was making excuses for what i found on his phone. then continues to say that im younger that's why he feels like he's not taken care of, that its not reciprocated etc etc etc. sorry, my fault. i have alot of faults. go find yourself a catalog wife in vietnam.

i don't meet boys online. i don't initiate conversations or message people that i don't know online. i don't text my ex dudes i miss you. i don't text "good friends" can you tell that i like you.

what a fucking breezy.